When You Try Your Best But You Don’t Succeed

Skellig Ireland

Hey babes. It’s been a cool minute. (Ok a few months.)

I have multiple drafts of would-be posts, saying it’s the first month of the year, the second… on to the fourth. (There was also this joke about having big news but not about being pregnant and then I briefly thought I was and nearly lost my mind but then I wasn’t – thank God – and now the big news is old anyway so I never got to make the joke.) ANYWAY, I’ve nearly made it to May without posting anything on here. But today it’s finally happening. I’m finally back. Probably not better than ever.

So why haven’t I been posting?

I’m pretty good at excuses, so I’ve lined out my top 3 here.

First excuse:

I suffer from some pretty ridiculous mood swings, where one day I feel very excited and passionate about something and then suddenly I don’t give a shit. This can apply to anything from social media to people to writing. Fortunately I can mask it pretty well and manage not to alienate everyone and everything I love when I swing down, but it’s still very frustrating to deal with. I don’t have any kind of actual explanation for it but I’m trying to learn to manage it. Unfortunately this has meant for several months I had no desire to write, and when I did write, I usually felt it wasn’t good enough to post. I feel better now, so hopefully I can get enough momentum to push through the next time I find myself down in the dumps.

How’s that for brutal honesty? Okay. Let’s continue.

Second excuse:

We’ve had a lot of life changes happen in the past 6 months. You know, moving to a new country just wasn’t enough of an adjustment for me, so I thought I’d change it up again. (Lol.) As many people already know by now, in December Joe quit his job and we moved out of our flat in London. We decided to use some savings to spend time traveling to get a head start on our long list of places to see. It’s been an incredible few months – we’ve gotten to travel to New Orleans, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, and Morocco. I couldn’t be more thankful. But 1) that doesn’t mean it hasn’t come with it’s own set of struggles/lows and 2) it’s really distracted me from getting much done. I think that’s fair enough, right?

Third excuse:

We started a travel blog, JKGO.co, which has been where most of my focus has gone when I haven’t been depressed and/or out seeing some of the most amazing places imaginable. It’s something Joe and I are very excited about, and we definitely have big plans for it. But my site is still important to me! I need an outlet for all my thoughts, and I need the conversations it starts with other people. I need to tell you about how much I love Glossier and asos. Life on the road means I don’t get a lot of time to hang out with friends, so I’m relying on the internet to give me social interaction with someone other than Joe.

So this time I’m going to hit post, and I’m gonna keep writing even when I don’t feel like it. There might be some breaks and gaps, but let’s try to not let 6 months go by next time. Especially cause each time I do, I feel like I have to write one of these pointless posts explaining why I haven’t written – as if everyone is bombarding me with messages wondering what’s going on in my life. (They’re not.) I’m also gonna keep being honest about my mental health issues, because I think it’s important to fight the stigmas and learn how to talk about it. So many people struggle and I want them to know they’re not alone.

And as always, I care most about you.

Do you have any topics you’d like to read about? Any questions on travel, moving abroad, marriage, or anything else that I’m definitely not an expert on but I’ll give it my best? Any issues you have that you just want to know you’re not the only one? Leave a comment or send me a private message, cause I love to hear back and I’d love to write about things that are important to you.

I’m thinking about writing about Kanye and John Legend for my next post because 1) I’m infamous for talking too much about Kanye drama and 2) I think there’s some lessons to be learned from celeb drama.

Thanks for reading xo

4 Comments

  1. Donetta Dalman on 28 April 2018 at 11:16 pm

    Love your transparency and more importantly love YOU. You are such a good storyteller and have a way of talking about serious things but also making people laugh. I’m glad to see you writing again!! Love this post!!

    • Kayla on 29 April 2018 at 12:20 pm

      Thank you! Love you so much <3

  2. Nicole Brown on 3 May 2018 at 3:24 pm

    I love reading your posts! Your transparency inspires me! Don’t quit posting. 🙂

    • Kayla on 4 May 2018 at 11:27 pm

      Thank you so much!! 😘

Let me know what you thought!